Remember the Brady Bunch? Sometimes we wonder what Mike and Carol Brady's estate plans looked like. Estate planning for blended families can be complex. We can help!

Remember the Brady Bunch? Remember how that show extolled the joys and challenges of blended families? Mike and Carol Brady were the iconic blended family, each bringing three children into the marriage and raising them as one big happy family. Sometimes we wonder what their estate plans looked like. Did Mike leave everything to Carol outright on his death, knowing that she would treat all six kids equally and not favor her three girls over his three boys?

We like to think that Carol would “do the right thing,” but what if she didn’t? What if she never liked Greg, Peter, and Bobby and decided to leave everything to Marcia, Jan, and Cindy? That crafty late Modernist home and the fruits of Mike’s architectural career would pass only to her children, while omitting Mike’s biological children altogether. It happens a lot. The surviving spouse disinherits her stepchildren. Sometimes it is intentional and deceptive from the start. Carol never really liked those boys. Any affection for them was an act, put on for Mike’s benefit. She always knew she would cut them out if given the opportunity.

In other circumstances, it happens slowly over time. As the years pass after Mike’s death, Carol and the boys grow apart. When it comes time to update her estate plan, she just omits them. She hasn’t seen them much anyway. They stopped sending her Mother’s Day cards years ago. There are no bad feelings or ill will. It just happens.

Apart from the day-to-day challenges, blended families like the Bradys face additional hurdles when addressing their estate plans. Approximately half of U.S. families are remarried or re-coupled. If you are in this category and raising a blended family, here are some pointers for protecting your family and your assets.

A SIMPLE WILL PROBABLY WON'T CUT IT. It opens the possibility that your biological children could be cut out of your spouse’s estate down the road. If you want to create an “I love you” will leaving everything to your spouse, be aware that after you are gone, your spouse could cut out your children and leave all your assets to their own biological children, a new spouse, or anyone they want. Your surviving spouse has no obligation to your children.

CONSIDER A TRUST THAT LEAVES ASSETS TO YOUR SPOUSE FOR THEIR LIFETIME, WITH THE BALANCE PASSING TO YOUR CHILDREN ON YOUR SPOUSE'S DEATH. This ensures that your spouse has access to the funds during their lifetime and that the assets rightly go to your children when your spouse is gone.

CHOOSE A SOPHISTICATED AND EXPERIENCED TRUSTEE. Who will make the financial decisions about investing the assets and distributing them to your spouse after you're gone? There could be tension between what your spouse wants and what your kids want to give them. Who will act as the referee between them?

Plan for the possibility that your surviving spouse will remarry. A trust can ensure that the assets are protected in the event your spouse remarries.

CONSIDER LEAVING SOME ASSETS TO YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN ON YOUR DEATH. That way, they will not be sitting around waiting for their stepmother or stepfather to kick the proverbial bucket.

DECIDE WHO WILL MAKE HEALTH CARE DECISIONS. This is a big question. For convenience purposes and to avoid conflicts, you should name just one person to make health care decisions for you in the event you are unable to do so yourself. Will that be your spouse or your son or daughter? This can lead to a lot of fighting between them. It is not uncommon for stepparents to cut off access and information to their spouse’s children when the spouse has been hospitalized. The reverse happens as well. Will your children prevent your spouse from visiting you? Give this topic a lot of consideration.

Many clients like to think of their families as a modern version of the Brady Bunch. But when you are gone and time has passed, will your spouse still treat your children as their own? Let’s hope they does, but plan for the fact that it often goes the other way.

If you're a member of a blended family and have estate planning questions, give us a call at 253.858.5434 to set up an appointment today. We represent clients throughout Washington and Idaho and are available to meet in person, by phone, or via video conference.